what I'm looking for

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just want to look some more
And I won't be satisfied 'til there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

I used to be involved and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and i don't feel a thing
I may never grow up
I may never give in
And I blame this world that I live in
I visit Hell on a daily basis
And I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who are married and their lives seem complete
And here I am still stumbling down a darkened street
A darkened street

And I act like a child
And I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt
And I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me
And before I know it I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I roam
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore
- Brendan Benson

Culture shock, its so weird being back, i need to write down all the stories,feelings,people,personalities,laughs,highs,drum&bass ostrava parties, roadtrip on a skoda fabia across the czech republic with 2 mexicans and a hippie from New Paltz, amazing times, people , I always/always want to remeber... This is from my Praha self to my self now, my non self. I've lost my ability to identify with NY, the people culture, the waves of things, the pace of walking the sounds and smells. The lingo,the police state ( I tried to light a cigarette in a bar forgetting the rule? Ha! imagine smoking regulations! I attempted to purchase wine from a corner store bodega,forgetting the fact i was no longer in Europe... )

It seems like an awkward time to be going through an identity change but being abroad did change me, i think for the better- spiritually, emotionally, in what i value , how i think,, i developed... and now being back, its forcing me to regress, i cant fight for long, this strange wind of conformity, pressure and stress that comes with the package... why? why not acceptance and trascendence, why not??
essentially this is PTSD studyabroad style.

- Cesky Krumlov
-Telc ( belch)
-Trebic
- Holubov
-Olomouc ( divche kamen)
- Ostrava ( Stodolni Street- party town)
-Cesky Raj ( Czech Paradise)

What is the media covering? Everything seems so stupid here, I havent watched tv in a year. I missed sushi. not the grafitti, glass shards. All the amazing people i have met, so kind great energy.

Alexi Meteni
Olivia Sandoval
Damaris Reyes
Ana
Allison
Johanna Neumann
Tomas Beran

so different so beautiful, one thing in common, love life live!