At the Age of 20, you feel like vomiting all day

The John Lennon Wall!



One of the classes I'm taking, which I dont have enough is Alternative Lifestyles and Culture taught by Pavla Jonssonova. She is this ex underground punk rock singergoddess nymph! . She is beautfiful, spiritual, free, into alchemy (wtf) and my new role model. She ruled the 80s and now she teaches, sings writes poetry, writes articles on cultural analysis of anything so called alternative. She was on the panel at Forum 2000 for gender and peacekeeping, sitting with dignataries and ambassadors from South Africa, Sri Lanka, etc. The reason for this description is simple, I like to write about her. Pavla knows individuals from this amazing band from back in the day and many of our assignments are related to this Musical Era. So the 1980s in czechoslovakia is said to mirror the US in the 60s, all new bands were emerging, things were stirring, bands were passionate, things truly were underground in the Iron Curtain. One of these new bands are the PLASTIC PEOPLE OF THE UNIVERSE. They started up in the 1960s, this hippie band did covers of the Rolling Stones and the Doors and then started their own stuff. They are electro jazzy funk love, Frank Zappa and the VelvetUnderground esque as well. One of our assigments for class was to go see them at a concert.( We came late and missed them!) So they started to become big, but were constantly harrassed by the Communist Regime. The concerts we disbanded, records confiscated and burnt! Its crazy, imagine you are going to see your favorite band play with some friends and them the fuckin Popo tell you that you can't because this artist is promoting disruption of the Socialist homeland! What the fuck man! So these Plastic People decided to create a commune in the woods and their woodcutting products would finance their musical equipment. They played weddings of friends since that was the only instance where state involvement was minimum also the wedding would be used a guise for them to rock out. The secret police had found out about this through an informer so they arrested the band when they played a giant Festival/Wedding party in 1976. Intellectual dissidents protested against they arrests and the prison sentences that followed,this is when the band became politicized. After an average 1 year sentence, the group was not able to perform in public again. The state run media depicted them as deranged alcoholic untalented beatniks. By 1989 they could play for the president Vaclav Havel who led the Velvet Revolution and they played Irving Plaza in 1998! Here are some lyrics from Egon Bondy, the singer

Twenty

At the age of twenty today
you feel like vomiting all day

But those that are forty of age
have even more to spew at that stage

Only those that reach sixty, senility at hand
can go off peacefully to slumber land
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Toxic Chemicals ( Toxika)

I am the victim of an addiction
a mania for all things toxical
it could be an affliction
but instead its rather comical

I drink beer, I pop pills
still I hardly sleep at night
come morn I'll sell the empties to get some bills
Julie will help me with my plight

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Early Bird ( Ranni ptace)

The Early Bird
gets the worms.
I will kick it
till it squirms
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My Country

Just like a kiss from a queer
my country gets up my rear
it chews me over in its gums
as I walk around feeling dire
in the public baths with no attire
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One hundred points ( 100 bodi) my abridged version

They fear painters and singers
They fear the free flow of information
They fear to let people out
They fear to let people in
They fear the left
They fear the rights
They fear the agreements they signed
They fear tommorow morning
They fear today and everyday
They fear the future
They fear the past
They fear what they said
They fear what they wrote
They fear jokes
They fear the talented
They fear Marx
They fear Lenin
They fear the truth
They fear freedom
They fear democracy
They fear Human Rights Accords
They fear socialism

So why do we fear them?

Time goes back

The more time I spend in Praha the more I think of my family.My stay here is strengthening my connection to my family and myself . I realize how I resemble different family member and it makes me happy. Its different thinking about them compared to when Im home, distance gives me a new perspective . Like for instance I keep having random thought when Im doing something that it is in such a manner that my grandmother would do. Ofcourse I was conscious of this before but now I really appreciate it . Its like they are here and I think what would mom say about his goulash mess in the kitchen, quick wipe it of the stove before it becomes increasingly hard to rub off. Or I left my makeup on the kitchen counter, Mom would chime in thats not a place for this stuff! But thats just surface stuff. I like to think how my granpa would react in certain experiences I have . I realize that all these years i dismissed my family as dysfunctional. It is infact ,this dysfunction that I can love them so much. I guess to really understand one must know my family history.
I though of dedushka when we were watching a screening of Jan Weiner's"Fighter". Jan Weiner is 87 years old and is a famous man. A local Czech legend as well, may a bookstore carries his book "Muj zivot" -my life. And frankly im honored to have his class 20th century history. First of all let me say that Jan Weiner has an amazing story, witnessed his father commit suicide as war began. Accused of being a British spy during the war , after he was a flyer for the Royal Army. As a result served 5 years in a hard labor camp working in the steel mills where he lost most his ability to hear. After the war his mother and sister had perished in Nazi concentration camps. Not to mention all the anti-semitism through out the years. In a scene from his life story He went to ask for clothes and asked for 4 pairs of shoes, the attendant replied , "Dirty Jew you wont even wear out one pair by the time they are through with you!"

The scene that reminded me of grandpa was one of levity, Jan and his friend are taking vodka shots. Ofcourse Jan's friend had his shirt off. I immediatley imagined Dedushka in the backyard on Brighton 11thst, he always hung out in just shorts or boxers. And when Slavic men drink, it means businesss! Shirts must come off! to prepare for the impending rise in body temperature and just to feel natural, free, masculine and happy! Na Zdarovye! To health! My grandma would always bring out watermelon in the summer , i celebrated my 7th-10th birthdays there probably pizza partys in the shabby little backyard a mere 20 feet from the train line. This is where he taught me how to play Dominos, Durak- a card game, grandma would give me old toys to play with little plastic green army men and little cars, i think these were Dima's old toys. I think of Dedushka so really he is still sooo alive! And my love for him perhaps even stronger. Now when I think of him I feel good instead of coming to tears. At home they are choosing a gravestone for him. I want the grave to have a noble etching of his portait when he was in his 30s-40s. I realize he died young , 77, Jan Weiner is 87! Still walks with no assistance, save that of a cane, is married to a 67 year old teaches history and his biogrpahy to a over 75 college students and has film students recreating a scene when midway through a game of chess his father tells 17 year old Jan that he has decide to commit suicide. Some of us are meant for more epic lives, the simple ones at times persist to be among the most commendable. Its hard to gather my thoughts, they seem to always be on shuffle a playlist is hard to make in my head. Mercurial thoughts but good ones.

Letna park, skateboardingcabrons and Tulip cafe! oh my!

OK so im officially likehow do you say in english a - pothead? All day I've been smoking , its finally 2am and it has come to a stop. We frequent Tulip Cafe way too much... how can you not when the only thing standing between you and a nice toke is Saying to the bartender one Gambrinus and 2 grams. The girls and me went to the Letna Park today where skateboarders attempted to spit a big loogie at Olivia and VA,missing ofcourse that cabron pedo, dickhead. Then he asked his friend of the accuracy of his shot and his friend replied you missed man too bad. But yea this is where the Metronome is, it used to be a high lookout spot , where Lenin's larger than life statue rested, You can see all three brigdes at once the Legi bridge , some one i dont recall the name of and ofcourse Charles Bridge. This statue was destroyed in 1990 and now its some sort of punkskateboardinggrafitti filled haven. So we went to a little flea market, many things were made by patients at a local mental hospital. Olie and VA got these amazing lamb wool knitted funky bags for 10 crown each! Around 50 cents! I got a little funky velvety yellow zipper pouch/coin purse to house my ipod and phone. Content with our purchases we went to smoke, it was the perfect time to do so too, the sun was beginning to set and the clouds looked flirty, devious and tranquil... Then we walked back I watched the sun glare off the metal tram rails embedded in the cobble. Then Olie goes i feel soo
" COMFORTABLE" she always says this meaning she feeels divinE! aka fuckin high as fuck!
Mmmm we went grocery shopping at Alberts and we cooked some bad ass pork and stir fry! We headed to the Globe to play boardgames! The globe is expat owned so the prices are high but you cant beat non stop scrabble, cards, trivial pursuit and chess. I hereby prnounce that I know how to play chess! I could never say this until 3 nights ago! So this kids from Cali taught me how to play and he was patient and all with my mistakes since Im borderline retarded in that department! So i will make not now that nothing will happen, nothing good at least since he lives in my building. All i KNow is that night at the Globe I was so turned on by him. In between moves, we made eye contact, eye fucked a bit, and then I watched him stir his espresso, the spoon slowlytueing clockwise, dispersing the grains,invisibble grains. He licked his lips a little meanwhile. At that point I had to restrain myself just a bit... He helped me with my moves than and now, but claimed I was pretty good and kept up an interesting game for a beginer. He has long curly hair, shoulder length. Then we walked back to the Kolej, nothing happened. The next night we went on a walk toward Petrin Hill, we passed a nunnery monastery where they were making a fire. We passed the German embassy and we just talked. On the way back he hopped on to a huge statute of Jan whats his face ( everyones name here is Jan or Jana) founder of Prague or something like that he pulled me up because i was to short to get on myself. I sat in between his legs as he was sitting indian style, it was nice... holding hands. Then he gave me a massage which was well needed since the beds here are basically futons, cushions.
Later that night we went to a medical party his friends invited to at a club - PM... everyone was Indian from the Uk and from Butswana, we danced on the black and white checkered floor after having very displeasing mojitos. Then me and him started dancing , it was weird, I dont want to say it was devoted to the inebriation but I felt so good dancing with him. Our movements immediatly sychronized and I fit into his arms, his back - so broad he used to be on the football team. Then as soon as we made eye contact we had to kiss. So there we were making out on the dance floor. He is officially the first person I hooked up with here and it was quite a nice first. I love braiding his hair he is so California oh another funny thing he has a weird fuckin roomate . This kid wore an orange camouflage kilt and an ornage plaid shirt with an orange cap to this club. We ducked by the bar so he wouldnt find us! So that was this weekend. Im trying to plan the Berlin, Wien, Budapest trip Im soo excited ! The break is coming up in 2 weeks and I feel comfortable , with or without the assistance of some weed...

The 23 arrived promptly as I exited the metro at Malostranska, i got onto my favorite part of the tram the end where you have a giant window to gaze out of. The jingle of the tram signaled its movement and we sailed off. I hoped for a shot of the metal tram lines in the cobblestone with neon lights from cars behind us but indeed it was too dark. Some guys from an overhead bridge waved and i put my hand to the window to say hi. Thats when I kind of felt at home here. Praha feels like home, i could potentially live here. It has that city vibe without being so stressful and strangling as NYC. I could be an expat, perhaps one day... I even juggled around the idea of taking my last semester off from college and staying here. But I probably do not have enough balls to do that, although I like to pretend like i do...
So the tram took a turn , long u turn around this rose bush garden and if you look outside the window it feels like the tram is off the tracks and its freely skidding, whizzing around like a sled on fresh snow. The idea of derailment! YES!
Yeaa... so this weekend we went to Petrin Hill, by the eifel tower looking structure. Its a beautiful park and this is where Tereza walked Karenin in unbearable lightness of being, everyone is reading it now for class. This was the very park where Tereza dreamed she was going to be executed when she could no longer bear Tomas' infidelity. Maybe thats why I feel like Praha is home, the feeling of deja vou, teases, the walk in Petrin did not seem new. It felt like I had been there before, like I had seen the graffiti before and seen the rose gardens, the children on pony rides... I like the feeling of home on another continent, the world is not that big. I like it this way